As it comes to the end of baby loss awareness week I just wanted to share how I feel because it is such a taboo subject. I want to try an normalise grief    and allow bereaved parents to grieve freely and without judgement if I can.... Every year October consumes me with grief I am not a nice person! Not only is it baby loss awareness week but my son was born in October. I feel it creeping up on me and    I can’t do anything about it no matter how hard I try to distract myself it’s still there like a black dog waiting around every corner. The smallest thing sets the tears off, my heart actually aches for my baby who will never be here. It could be a song, smell, a memory or someone else telling me their story. But after 9 years every October I let myself open the box that is locked away in my heart. I’ve learned to control it in a weird way it has taken along time a lot of panic attacks a lot of bad days a lot of events i couldn’t go to due to other people’s baby’s being there. In