Mum’s mental load


So this ‘mums’ mental load that I have been reading about the past few months. I thought I’d write a few things down an see if it’s relatable to any other mamas? 


A little snapshot of my story I’ve recently become a mother of three and I have a hugely supportive husband & family, this in no way is belittling him, our supportive family or other dads/ partners. I’m just stating facts, it’s a role we take on as we become mothers! Now I waited a long time to bring my babies home, I can’t stress enough that I love being a mother! An I don’t really mind this “mental load” I just don’t think it’s talked about enough! 


So I don’t know weather or not this has been impacted by lockdown - actually on reflection it has during lockdown you also became responsible for not only home life with your child but all of the other aspects of school life including educational needs, social needs & the need for peers (you an their siblings were probably the only friends your children were seeing)!


So all the things mums do without thinking - but actually there is a mental load ...


Who remembers when the doctors appointments are? - Mum does 


Who sorts perscriptions? - Mum does 


Who remembers when the beds needs changing ? - Mum does


Who decides what food in the fridge has to be eaten by certain dates? - Mum does 


Who does the food shop? - Mum does

 

Who plans meals for the week? - Mum does 


Who cooks the tea? - Mum does 


Who does the cleaning? - Mum does


Who knows how much calpol to give? - Mum does 


When you go on holiday who books it? - Mum does 


Who remembers the packing, organising, ringing round? - Mum does


Who remembers the washing? - Mum does 


Who remembers to put the washing away? - Mum does


Who remembers the uniforms? - Mum does


Who remembers the payments for nursery? - Mum does


Who remembers the permission slips? - Mum does


Who remembers the lunch boxes? - Mum does


Who remembers play dates & after school activities? - Mum does


Who organises Christmas (the activities, the clothes, the presents, the food)? - Mum does


Who organises the birthdays, the christenings and Easter? - Mum does


Who writes list after list so they don’t forget ? - Mum does


Who wakes for the night feeds? - Mum does


Who hasn’t had a proper “sleep” since the baby was born?  - Mum


Who can’t sleep because they are thinking about all the things they have to do tomorrow?  - Mum


Who also works - MUM!!!! 


Who gets “mum guilt” (for working, for getting a bath on her own for having a glass of wine with her friends) - MUM


When mum is poorly (short term or long term, for whatever reason - physical or physiological) who looks after mum - Oh that’s Mum again 


Do you see where I’m going here 

There’s no days off there’s no holidays your “on call” night duty every night.


Now this list by no means is extensive, and every mum will have their own crosses to bear but it’s just recognition of how much us mums actually do do! 


Aswell as being a loving parent & a loving partner.

But does mum remember to look after herself, showering, buying sanitary products, shaving her legs, washing her hair, exercising (going to the toilet alone) - all things are necessary! 


This blog was just a little reminder to look after you MUM, take time to read that book or take that extra long bath. I went for a walk to Costa the other day on my own I felt like a new woman - it really is the little things because your brain doesn’t get a break from the mental load so take that half an hour to do nothing go for a walk or a run or a bath on your own 💞


Ps my inbox is always open for anyone who’s struggling ✌🏻 

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