A thought provoking 2020

 As this weird year draws to a close I have been reflecting on what a testing year it has been for us as a family. We had the strangest pregnancy with lee not being allowed to any scans or appointments, even only coming in half way through labour, we got embezzled all the money in our bank account, our baby was poorly had lots of stays & appointments in alder hey, our baby boy would of been 10 this year which really I’m not sure why but affected me. Lee lost his job and we lost our lovely uncle, great uncle an amazing man in our family. I went back to work full time, my hair fell out an I developed adult acne an had panic attacks frequently. Finally we ended up again in alder hey  on Christmas morning & Boxing Day!

We are not by far NOT the worst off everyone has had a awful year some much more than others. 

But this year has been unbelievable it has taught me so much, this life is so

short you need to make every second count. If your struggling with your mental health which lots of people are, get some help don’t leave it, speak to your doctor or a counsellor or friend. Try medications if you need them but also open your mind to  some complimentary therapies - meditation, yoga, reiki, and self care!! These things worked for me however in 2018/2019 Lee really suffered with anxiety we had also had abit of a rough year we lost our lovely Nan, I was pregnant with lots of complications, going into early labour at 24 weeks managing to stop it but then was on bed rest for the majority of the pregnancy , we had finical pressures due to me having to stop working an lee had to come home a couple of times because we thought the baby was coming (anyway Lee read lots of books such as - The 5am club, atomic habits and good vibes good life, to manage his aneixty everyone has there own way of coping so do what’s right for you). There is also a northwest based support groups for people suffering from mental health problems and or addiction problems not just the person but the families too! Insta - @freedomrecoverywalks  I haven’t been myself due to time constraints however it looks amazing! Lee Butler also does a Sunday support group too insta - @djleebutler.

Lee & I get up every morning at 5am we meditate sometimes exercise, sometime do some yoga or get cold showers, but we get our backsides out of bed an down the stairs first thing in the morning when it’s cold an dark preparing ourselves for the day ahead. The feeling is unreal, we listen to Martin Bone insta - @martinbonemeditation , the meditation coach. Always trying to focus on the positives an being grateful for what we have, we have been through the worst - well personally I feel loosing a child is one of the worst things to go through / rock bottom. So it’s only up from there I feel like I can cope with anything since having been through that. Although this year like I mentioned before I have had server anxiety with lots of times thinking I couldn’t cope an was failing a mum and a wife. But that’s ok too being vulnerable is ok! You need to look after you! Like you know when your on a aeroplane an they say fix your oxygen  mask first I never understood, why would you fix yours before your baby’s. But I get it now your baby wouldn’t live if you didn’t get yours on first if you pass out while trying to get there’s on. If you understand my analogy that’s why we need self care. That could be in the form of a bubble bath, watching Netflix, a glass of wine an face mask. Seeing a friend for a coffee it comes in many forms do what works for you! 

Also saying no is a form of self care prioritising you and your immediate family is absolutely fine! You shouldn’t have to spread yourself too thinly an standing up for what you believe, don’t be easily led. Be a strong independent person who makes boss decisions that are right for you and your family. 

This year I’m grateful for so much for lots things, lee losing his job - because he got time with his girls he would never of got, having the experience of delivering the baby naturally after 3 csections, our fantastic national health service who have looked after us more than ever this year, I’m grateful we have been tested because it’s made us stronger as a family, but most of all my children, my three baby girls, 

Our children our just leant to us for a short period of time, I think the magic of Christmas just makes us see it more, this year I’ve realised d there’s so much more to life than having a spotlessly clean house on Christmas Eve night or any night infact - don’t get me wrong it’s clean but it’s not how I’d like it to be but what’s more important?  Definitely being with my kids an enjoying them, instead of worrying about a shell that we live in! I rather my home be full an warm an happy. Instead of clean an cold while I wrote this the girls were in my mums having a sleep over, Lee was in bed having a very rare lie in an I was playing catch up on the cleaning, I realised how quite it was, I absolutely hated it, we will

have a quite clean home one day but for now I’m enjoying the chaos. Aniexty can rise when your in the house for a long period of time, this happens to me,

sometimes I feel it can filtered through to the children, personally I find the best way to tackle this is fresh air and leaving the house, now I know in this current climate it’s not possible for everyone to leave the house, so water is my other option a bath/ shower water washing your hair the children’s hair calms every situation (obviously providing you don’t get shampoo in there eyes).This year has changed my mentality completely I have been able to refocus on what is truly important in life an be able to be present and in the moment. Don’t waste your time on superficial things use your precious time to spend with your loved ones doing meaningful activities. I can’t stress enough how important it is to get up an hour or two before your kids to just anchor yourself before the chaos arrives school runs breakfast ect! Win your morning win your day! 

The Draper girls was first made as virtual photo album for our girls to have, but it had evolved to so much more then than! We have big plans for early 2021, for our little page so please feel free to share our blogs ect we really appreciate it.

We hope you’ve had a good year or even if you’ve had a bad one but have been able seen the positives that have come from it!

Big love

Team Draper

Insta @thedrapergirls